Many, because this is one of the most popular topics in cinema, literature, music and theater. But watching events and participating in them are two big differences. In this article, we will learn what to do if you find yourself in a love triangle, and how to break it.

Types of romantic relationships

This familiar term “love triangle” can have several different meanings. Participants in it can be both married couples and those who are just starting to build relationships. For example, a girl cannot decide on a guy, so she meets two at once. In any case, there are three people involved in the relationship, and it doesn't matter if they know about it. If a love triangle occurs in a married couple, then adultery will definitely take place here.

Why does a person decide to cheat

Of course, everyone who has ever cheated on his soulmate has his own opinion on this matter. However, in general, the overall picture is quite universal. Before you understand how to break the love triangle, you should definitely think about why you decided on adultery.

Love is a fire that must be maintained. If it fades away, a person wants to feel it again and for this he steps on the slippery path of betrayal. In fact, it is not always possible to restore former passion and improve relationships, and everyone succeeds. Each spouse accumulates resentment and anger in himself, and this prevents him from building love and warm again. Of course, starting an affair on the side is much easier than solving family problems. But on the other hand, if you start cheating on your soulmate, she will definitely feel it and there will be much more quarrels.

This is how love triangles are born. There are a lot of types and reasons for such relationships. There are, for example, men who believe that two girls are absolutely normal. So, one of them should perform the function of a wife: clean, cook, create family comfort and warmth. But the second - the mistress will entertain and satisfy all his secret desires. Some girls also believe that the husband and lover are not one. Let one earn money, and the second entertains her.

Every situation that happens in your life has both positive and negative sides. For those who cheat, this is a way to take a break from family routine, to feel like a happy and free person. On the other hand, side relationships rarely end in marriage. Most often, it is very beneficial to use a person and at the same time not be obliged to him for anything. In addition, cheating is very exhausting. At one fine moment, a person gets tired of lying and hiding, but he cannot do anything about it.

Husband is cheating on his wife

Not without reason there is an opinion that all men are polygamous. They love to feel important and loved. When for some reason the wife fails to pay enough attention to her beloved, he goes in search of bright and passionate sensations and, as a rule, finds them. Quite often, husbands begin to cheat on their wives during pregnancy and the first year of a child's life. During this time, they get into the taste so much that they simply can’t stop. You need to understand that by such an act a man hurts not only his legal wife, but also the psyche of the child. Children see and understand everything even more than it seems to adults. Everything that the baby sees and hears at an early age is deposited in his unconscious memory. So, girls, growing up, are looking for a husband who looks like a father. And if he cheated on his mother, then she is already consciously ready to experience the same. The father should think, but would he like his daughter's husband to cheat?

If you are in the role of a mistress

In search of a life partner, we very often come across those who are already busy, but for some reason we still do not stop communicating with them. Sooner or later, this friendship develops into something more. Be honest with yourself: you hope that sooner or later he will leave his wife and be yours. Even if you lie to your acquaintances and friends that you are just fine together, somewhere in the depths of your soul there is certainly a desire to beat off your lover. Look at the situation from the other side. Is it possible to fully trust a man who cheats on his wife? Where is the likelihood that if he becomes your lawful husband, the same thing will not happen? If you are already starting to think about how to break the love triangle for your mistress, then this is already a great start.

If you are a lover

They say that girls are the most insidious creatures. Dealing with a married lady is a very risky business. First of all, it is worth noting that girls cheat on their husbands much less often. If it does happen, then there are reasons for it. And one, the most basic, is revenge. The fact is that for most women, love is a sincere and very tender feeling. If she does not love, she just leaves, but does not change. But if you are still lucky enough to spend a few nights with a married lady, then perhaps she is simply taking revenge on her lawful spouse, but is she using you? The reason for the emergence of a love triangle may also be the fact that thanks to you, the girl raises her self-esteem. Some ladies tend to believe that if not only her husband wants her, then she is still worth something.

If you find out that you are being cheated on

In a love triangle, the worst thing is for someone who does not participate in adultery. It hurts enough to find out that the person you love is cheating on you. Unfortunately, it is because of love triangles that many families collapse. It's not easy to get through this. But sometimes, for one reason or another, people tend to put up with treason. A real storm can rage inside a person, but he will be silent so as not to completely destroy the family. The only thing that needs to be learned from this situation is that both partners are to blame for the fact that a love triangle has arisen. The psychology of the cause distinguishes the following:

• lack of attention to a partner,
• constant quarrels and insults,
• loss of self.

All this can lead to the appearance of a triangle. In this situation, there are two ways out: either hope that the betrayals will ever end, or leave.

An interesting fact is that the percentage of betrayals is higher where the wife does not work, but sits at home. The thing is that, taking on the role of a housewife, the girl forgets that she is a lady. Her interests are reduced to watching a series or a cooking program. She happily chats with her friends on social networks, discussing interesting design in the living room. Behind all this, the girl forgets about her lover. Yes, she cooks and cleans, but caring for her beloved man should not end there. The spouse simply becomes bored, he does not know what to talk about with his beloved now, and quickly solves this situation, finding himself another interlocutor. If you want to save your family and are ready to forgive betrayal, then, first of all, changes should start with yourself.

Why is it so difficult

The situation with a love triangle is usually difficult for everyone. But women suffer the most. Firstly, men cheat more often, and secondly, even if a girl is tempted to adultery, it will not last long.

If it is difficult for you to break the love triangle, then think again, are they giving you? Do you feel like a truly happy person? How are the other members of the love triangle feeling? "How to get out of it?" - this question will definitely visit you. So, the first and most important task is to be aware of everything that is happening in your life. It is equally important to understand that something needs to be changed and this cannot continue.

What to do

If you have firmly decided that such a relationship does not suit you, then you need to say goodbye to them. If you yourself are the creator of the love triangle, then you have to choose who to stay with. Of course, this choice will not be easy, but you need to carefully consider everything.

Very often, people who decide to break the love triangle prefer to be left alone. In general, this is a very correct and wise decision. This allows you to take a sober look at the situation, analyze the past and make plans for the future. Although in any case, you will have a serious conversation with your partners.

What keeps you from leaving

Very often, love triangles are supported not only by feelings, but also by the financial side. Every trio is different. Most often, you can find a situation where a rich husband contains both his wife and his mistress, and they dutifully remain silent. Getting out of such a triangle is not so easy, because you will lose the financial flow. In this case, to begin with, every effort should be made to become independent and independent. As long as you have the financial ability, you can complete courses in any specialty and go to work. Then it will be much easier for you to break the love triangle.

Men are very smart and cunning creatures. They know perfectly well that if a girl depends on him, she will not leave and endure everything. It is for this reason that many of the males acquire mistresses. The situation can and should be changed. Become interesting for yourself, find something to your liking, believe in your strengths and capabilities. A man will never look in the direction of another if you are self-sufficient.

Summing up, we can say that a love triangle is a very common type of romantic relationship, which you should still get rid of. This can be done in several ways, and the choice depends only on the specific situation. If you cannot decide to break up with your loved one, then you still do not see all the shortcomings of such a relationship. In any case, each person has the right to manage his own life. Discard the opinions of friends, relatives and fashion magazines and listen to your heart.

Hello everybody! My friend's daughter got into a typical love triangle "husband - wife - mistress" in the role of mistress. And she herself is no longer happy, and it’s impossible to break out of this relationship. Why is this happening and how to break off relations with a married man? Let's find out!

I will not moralize here on the topic "he is married, do not break up the family, it is indecent, blah blah blah ...". This argument has never stopped anyone. I would rather show how such a relationship can negatively affect a girl in the role of a mistress.

triangle of fate

There is one very interesting model through which most of these problematic relationships can be explained. This is the so-called Karpman-Burn triangle (you can read more about it in Eric Burn's book "Games People Play"). It has three roles: Persecutor (Aggressor, Executioner, Tyrant - terminology varies slightly in different sources), Victim and Rescuer (Savior).

This triangle is often called magic. The roles in it are not rigidly fixed, and the participants constantly “run across” in it from one role to another, simultaneously drawing more and more new participants into it.

Who benefits?

Breaking the Karpman triangle is very, very difficult, because being in it is beneficial to all participants in the process.

• Don't take responsibility for your decisions - it's always someone else's fault
• There is always the opportunity to experience strong emotions (even if this is only a surrogate for real feelings, but how easy it is to get them).

So it turns out that the Victim does not want to completely get rid of the Persecutor. And the Rescuer, in turn, does not want to help the Victim finally solve the problem - otherwise, whom will he save? No, the Victim wants to get as much attention and care as possible, the Persecutor feels righteous anger and a desire to punish all the "guilty". The rescuer experiences a sense of his own omnipotence and superiority.

Option 1

Consider how this triangle works in our situation from a lover's point of view.
The first, most common scenario: the husband (Victim) believes that his wife (Persecutor) bullies him, oppresses him, creates unbearable conditions for life, and so on. Moreover, please note that this is only the opinion of a man, what is really happening there and who is bullying whom is a separate issue. But, being a Victim, he finds himself a Savior - a mistress.

Another subtle point - it doesn’t matter on whose initiative there was a rapprochement, whether the unfaithful husband actively seduced a potential mistress, or she just as actively sought him, and he dutifully agreed to a “left” relationship, the alignment of roles does not change from this. He is the Victim of his wife, his mistress is the Rescuer.

And as soon as the girl has entered this triangle, he drags her in and forces her to play by her own rules. The Victim Husband sweetly sings in his ears how unbearable he is with his wife, and only she is his true love, his Savior, the only joy in life. And if not for a million insurmountable circumstances, they would have been together, would have lived happily ever after and died on the same day.

The Lover-Rescuer, according to her role, begins to console and give advice on how to overcome all difficulties - and then she herself turns into a Persecutor in the eyes of her lover, because she already demands the impossible from him! He blames her - oops! She has already become a victim. Beauty? And such a whirlwind will last indefinitely.

Even if she refuses to advise and help, the Victim husband will not back down, he will simply begin to demand salvation more and more insistently, as a result he will turn into a Persecutor, forcing his mistress to take the role of the Victim.

Let's see how this scenario looks in real life:

Option 2

The second scenario is even more vile. The family has a persecutor husband and a victim wife. And the husband, as a punishment and edification to his wife, takes a mistress. His message to his wife (usually not voiced out loud, but unconscious) - if you do not improve and start behaving the way I need, I will go to my mistress.

Abracadabra! The mistress has already become the Persecutor (she also threatens the family happiness of the wife-Victim), and the husband has turned into a Rescuer, who by all means helps his wife get rid of her mistress. Further, all the same, the mistress will have to be both the Victim, and the Rescuer, and again the Persecutor. You can't just stop playing this game.

The scenarios here are similar to those in the first paragraph, just with a slightly different emphasis:

• The wife for some reason (illness, child, general winding up, laziness - it doesn’t matter) launched herself and life. And the man has a mistress. Only he no longer complains that it is so hard for him, the poor man. No, he motivates his act by the fact that the wife herself is to blame. Now, if she corrects herself, begins to look good, puts things in order in the house, becomes an interesting conversationalist, and so on, then he won’t need other women. In the meantime, everything is so, then he is simply forced to be with another;
• Both fight constantly. But here the man already feels that he is right and is obliged to prove it to his wife. He goes and proves ... with his mistress, yes.

From the lover's side

The most unpleasant thing is that from the side of the mistress, all of the above is most likely not visible. Or it can be seen, but very one-sidedly, according to a man who, in any case, will justify himself. It doesn’t matter if her “threesome” relationship suits her, or she is sincerely in love, wants to be with him and expects that he is about to divorce - in addition to her desire and awareness, she can be drawn into this triangle.

Of course, there are times when all three participants (openly or behind the scenes) are satisfied with this state of affairs. But usually in these situations everything is immediately clear, and no one manipulates, blackmails or accuses anyone of inaction.

How to get out of a love triangle?

I hope that I have clearly outlined all the disadvantages of scenarios inside the Karpman triangle. If you (or your friends) got into such a relationship, how to get out of them competently?

And even if suddenly - oh, a miracle! - a man divorced and made you his wife or official girlfriend, who will guarantee that after some time he will not start cheating on you, returning to a similar triangle again. It seems to me, every girl deserves more!

Adultery is a complex, difficult, painful situation, and, unfortunately, very common. Without exaggeration, we can say that the love triangle is an eternal drama. What does a person feel when he finds out about the betrayal of a loved one? The strongest resentment, pain, fear of the unknown and disappointment in a partner who until recently seemed to be a reliable life support. The existence of a love triangle brings mental discomfort to all its parties. Why, then, can some triangles persist for years, and people who find themselves in a difficult life situation are unable to break the vicious circle of betrayals, forgiveness, reconciliation and new conflicts?

Triangle - a stable figure

Long-term love triangles, the sides of which are the husband, wife and wife's lover, are rare in our society and, as a rule, collapse as soon as the strong half finds out about adultery.

But the mirror situation, that is, the triangle "he - she - his mistress", on the contrary, can persist for decades. There is an opinion that male adultery is perceived by society much more loyally than female, adjusted for polygamy, supposedly inherent only to the stronger sex.

In general, the pressure of society on a woman in such a situation is always stronger. Even if the wife turns out to be the injured and deceived party, the blame for her husband's betrayal is often completely shifted onto her shoulders: she refused intimacy, did not maintain comfort in the house, did not understand, did not take care of her appearance, etc. The emotional state of a woman, already in a difficult life situation, is exacerbated by a sense of guilt that she could not keep her husband from infidelity.

Like a bolt from the blue?

Although many women who have experienced betrayal by a loved one say that the news of their husband's infidelity took them by surprise, cheating never happens "suddenly". Infidelity is just a marker that indicates serious problems that have long existed in a relationship. A woman talking about a family idyll, which was destroyed by an insidious rival, alas, is engaged in self-deception: if the spouses are connected not by a stamp in the passport, but by spiritual intimacy, mutual understanding and deep sincere love, there is no place between them for a third. Infidelity is very often preceded by alienation between spouses and serious dissatisfaction with family life.

Relations on the side - an attempt to fill the needs that remain unsatisfied in the marital relationship. The mistress complements the wife, giving the man what he does not receive in the family in the amount he needs: love, support, acceptance, satisfaction of sexual hunger, etc. It is no coincidence that many men sincerely claim that they love both - both the wife and the mistress.

Why is the situation not changing?

Most often, in a long-term love triangle, all parties suffer: a deceived wife, a lover, and an unfaithful spouse who, it would seem, created this situation for his own comfort. The wife is experiencing severe mental pain, faced with the deceit and betrayal of a loved one. The lover lives for years in the hope that the man will nevertheless decide to leave the family. An unfaithful husband is tormented by feelings of guilt, suffering from conflicting emotions and the inability to make a choice. Yes, and constant conflicts do not contribute to spiritual comfort. But at the same time, none of them dare to open the ill-fated love triangle. Why is this happening? Paradoxically, each side benefits from this dysfunctional stability. Moreover, the benefit can be both conscious and hidden, but it must outweigh all unpleasant emotions and discomfort - otherwise the love triangle would not have existed for a long time.

When it comes to an unfaithful spouse, the advantages are more or less obvious: a man retains all the benefits of married life, while receiving part of his needs on the side. If the wife has cooled to the intimate side of life, the mistress will relieve sexual tension. If a man feels a lack of respect and understanding in the family, he can make up for this deficiency on the side. By maintaining a love triangle, a man avoids the need to make a choice and start a new life, sometimes from scratch.

If we are talking about a mistress who has been living for years in anticipation that a man will divorce, and, moreover, a deceived wife, then the benefits of maintaining a love triangle are often not even realized by the participants in the drama.

Sometimes the wife agrees to put up with the role of the deceived party in order to maintain at least imaginary stability. An insecure woman is afraid to take a decisive step and open the triangle, because. she is afraid of being alone without creating new close relationships. If a woman is financially dependent on her husband, she may be afraid of losing material security and acquired property. Some women try, no matter what, to maintain the appearance of a "normal" family for the sake of children. Some revel in the role of victim and its associated benefits, such as support, sympathy, and favors from others. Someone continues to live under the same roof with an unfaithful spouse for the sake of public opinion: for the sake of the status of a married lady or out of guilt (the notorious "could not keep ..."). It also happens that a husband's betrayal is beneficial to a woman because it makes it possible to no longer invest in relationships, not to satisfy his sexual and emotional needs.

As for the rival, for her, the love triangle is most often an opportunity to skim off all the “cream”, while avoiding the routine, the underside of a romantic relationship that has moved to the level of living together. The mistress receives vivid emotions, attention, beautiful courtship and expensive gifts, and the wife gets all the "everyday life". Sometimes the “homeowner” asserts herself, trying to prove her superiority, female strength and the ability to effortlessly take a man out of the family. In this case, the man himself does not play a significant role, being only a “prize” in the competitive struggle. Sometimes a lover is only interested in what she gets in a relationship, such as financial support, attention and care, and not in the intimate relationship with a man as such.

In general, a woman who agrees to a love affair with a married man is likely to experience a fear of close relationships - conscious or hidden.

How to open a love triangle?

Participants in a love drama are not always able to cut the tangled Gordian knot on their own. This happens when each of the parties cannot get an option that would completely suit it, and prefers to keep at least a “titmouse in hand”. In addition, each of the participants may have psychological traits that prevent him from decisively turning the tide, making a decision to divorce, make a choice, or get out of the way. In this case, the help of a family psychologist is required. In a painful and difficult situation, a specialist will help:

• Realize the true motives, fears and benefits of each of the participants;
• Find the most painless way out of the situation and the opportunity to satisfy the needs that were realized in the "triangle";
• Maintain self-identity and normal self-esteem;
• Stabilize the emotional state;
• Find the internal resources necessary to resolve the situation in one way or another;
• Build a strong and healthy relationship as a couple after leaving the "triangle".

Life story: "I can not decide on a divorce ..."

Svetlana L. turned to the center, being in an extremely difficult emotional state. The woman accidentally found out that her husband was cheating on her: “Everything lost its meaning at once: life, love, career, the house that we built together ... My heart bled and hurt, and only one question was spinning in my head: why?!”. Convicted of infidelity, Dmitry L. did not particularly deny. Having confessed to his wife that his relationship with an unmarried work colleague had been going on for more than a year, he said that he loved both women, and suggested that his wife come to terms with the existence of a mistress. Svetlana, who was financially dependent on her husband, saw no other choice but to try to save her family. Although she could not come to terms with betrayal: “Everything was protesting inside. I felt like a complete nonentity and a rag that everyone wipes their feet on.”

The first sessions were aimed at reducing the emotional intensity and stabilizing the client's condition, after which Svetlana L. for the first time got the opportunity to soberly assess the situation. With further work, it was possible to find out that low self-esteem prevents a woman from opening a love triangle.

Svetlana L. admitted: “I can never forgive his betrayal. But I can't decide on a divorce either. Who needs me at 35, without education, a good job, my own home, and even with a small child in my arms?

After working with a specialist, Svetlana L.'s self-esteem was normalized: the woman felt free from emotional dependence. Following this, they found strength to resolve other issues: the woman was able to agree with her husband so that the apartment would remain with her in the event of a divorce; although not yet highly paid, but still found a job. Svetlana did not want to build further relations with her unfaithful spouse. Having put her husband before the fact, the woman soon got a divorce. Currently, the Center's specialist continues to cooperate with the client in order to avoid a recurrence of a similar situation in the future.

A love triangle is a relationship model that, alas, is unlikely to lose its relevance. But if you approach the situation soberly and calmly, each wife from the “weak link” who is being cheated on can turn into the mistress of the situation. This process will be long and sometimes painful, but no one promised easy ways here.

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The theme of the love triangle is as old as the world, but it still seems to many that the “other woman” appears in the life of a married man suddenly and for no reason.
(Still from the film "About Love")

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Our March material on stellar ones made a lot of noise. We have been accused of anything - propaganda of adultery, trampling on family values, lack of female solidarity, in the end ... We will not make excuses: simply because lovers have destroyed and continue to destroy unshakably strong-looking unions for centuries.

It makes no sense to pretend that in our world all marriages are perfect, and mistresses are caricature-negative characters who, as in any fairy tale, are left with nothing at best.

On our forum there were, are and will be topics that wives give birth to, who suddenly turned out to be a “weak link” in their own marriage. “Who is to blame,” they usually don’t ask, although, according to psychologists, this is where we should start. But the question "What to do?" sounds all the way. With him, we turned to our constant expert, the mysterious Natalia R., the owner of the NR club, which is regularly visited by women who, at one, by no means perfect moment, became not the only and unloved.

In fact, we had a whole list of questions, but in the end we did not interrupt the monologue of our interlocutor, who knows not only the causes and consequences, but also the ways out of the situation. The proposed strategy allows a woman to return, if not a cheater, then something even more important - self-respect and self-confidence. We give the floor to Natalia R.

Karma is nothing

“In the collapse of the family, it is customary to blame the homeowner, who allegedly appeared in her husband’s life and led him astray, but everything is much more complicated. A mistress arises in a man's life for several reasons. The most common: one woman is not enough for him to fill his inner voids, to come into a state of harmony and peace - as I call it, "feed his inner dragons."

He receives something important from each woman, and they, in turn, can be several - two, three, four. The main thing is that this is how he achieves a state of comfort, and if he has reached it ... He will not leave this state.

"The world is driven by men for two reasons - it's laziness and the desire for comfort."

Another reason for the appearance of a mistress is that there has always been a place for her in the system of a man. Let me explain: if at least once he had a parallel relationship with two women and the subconscious whispered to him affectionately: “You are cool, you can ...” - then this scenario turns into a model of behavior.

I sincerely sympathize with those “lucky ones” who, using female charms, multiplied by the strategic abilities of Machiavelli, take men away from the family, victoriously anticipating a cloudless life in the status of a spouse.

“They do not understand that, having taken someone's place, they free their own - the place of a mistress. And it won't be empty for long.

Karma has nothing to do with it. If a man is used to having both a wife and a mistress, he will continue to live according to this scenario, even if the characters change.

“Well, what did he miss ?!”

Let's go back to the "dragons" that men feed when interacting with women. What do they need so that there is no desire to look for it on the side? It's just five things: calmness, comfort, safety, stability, predictability. A man who has all this will be difficult to take away from the family.

“If at least one of these five components is not enough for a man, its absence can push a man out of a relationship into the arms of a mistress.”

With calmness and stability, everything is clear, with predictability it is more difficult. She is often confused with everyday life - when a wife turns from a beauty into a person who has given up on herself. In fact, predictability is the understanding that everything can change in this world, but the wife's reactions, her support and love will remain unchanged.

A man needs to be surprised, but at the same time he must always feel that he will be accepted, embraced, wrapped in love. By the way, you need to surprise with a minus sign, take him out of his comfort zone so that he strives to return to this zone and appreciate it with renewed vigor.

“The aerobatics for a wife is to be predictable in the right sense of the word, but remain a mystery, a haze that a man wants to follow, despite the fact that you live together and know a lot about each other.”

And one more thing: a wise wife never puts pressure on a man emotionally, in no case compares him with other men in the style of “but Vasya ...”, does not try to make a decision for him, but always gives him this opportunity.

Two ways: accept or ignore

So, the moment has come: the wife feels that her man has another.
In fact, this is preceded by another important moment, when one side, the legitimate one, feels something and starts looking, and the other side really wants to be found...

“Sooner or later they may meet, or they may not. You need to ask yourself the question: “Am I willing to destroy my own relationship now?”. If the answer is yes, you understand all the risks, but you are ready for anything, then you can go on the warpath with a rival.

If you are not ready to destroy what is really expensive, it is better to stop digging. You need to look not for a rival, but for the reasons for the situation - and in yourself, and not in a man or the world around you!

The first point of the mandatory program is to pay attention to yourself, look in the mirror, face the truth. If you find out that a man conditionally likes “shameless redheads”, this is a signal for you first of all - try to find something in yourself that is consonant with this image, adjust it to suit you.

Next, I recommend making a list with a title that may shock at first: “What good do I get in a situation where my husband has a mistress.” No matter how cynical it may sound, but even in the most tragic situation there are pluses. In this one, even more so. You have a need to improve, and therefore, to become better.

The next question to ask is “Why am I in this relationship?”. Both of these lists have a powerful effect and help to bring order to thoughts and feelings.

“Summary: until the moment the wife raises the topic of infidelity, this situation does not exist for her.”

As soon as the wife indicates her awareness - and it doesn’t matter if she makes a fuss or cries quietly, she must understand: history will repeat itself and she will eat the same thing with a large or small spoon, depending on the appetites of her husband.

The first way is more environmentally friendly, and there are much more options for the development of events.

Action Program

Initially, you need to set goals correctly. It is much more important not just to “return her husband”, but to get out of the created dramatic situation as a winner, to become a self-sufficient woman who lives with a sincere smile on her face, with whom you always want to be near.

“The action plan is clear, complex, but doable: to realize the situation - to accept - to ask the question: “Why am I in this situation?” - to think over the work on the mistakes.

How to start this work? From their beliefs, in which they will have to delve into and uproot those that have settled, perhaps since childhood. Classic ones like “all men are theirs ...” need to be removed from your system once and for all - because in this way you project all this into your own life.

Take care of yourself, you need to develop. It is desirable without stopping - so that there is not a minute left to suffer and be offended by a man and the whole world.

Go to dance classes, enroll in make-up schools or foreign languages ​​... However, I don’t advise you to go to boxing: you need to develop female energy, and not pump yourself with testosterone - the “testosterone” beauty will only repel real men. You need estrogen, femininity, fluidity. For me, here in the first place, of course, which make a woman a Woman with a capital letter. All men dream of such, and this is a real way to return and keep - of course, if at the same time you “pump” your own beliefs, getting rid of reproach, discontent and resentment that pull down with an unbearable load.

What will happen next if you follow this path step by step? At first, it will seem to your man that his life is a complete idyll: both his adoring lover and his spouse who does not rock the boat ... Which, meanwhile, is constantly changing, which he cannot fail to notice. It will take time, but the metamorphoses will not leave him indifferent.

“Meanwhile, reproaches will certainly sound from the “left corner” of the triangle: time passes, but nothing changes, and the lover remains just a lover ... She begins to annoy the man, while the wife becomes harmonious, confident, attractive attention of men to women

A wise woman will wait until the wheel has come full circle. She will never be a victim - and it is she who will decide whether to forgive or move on. Indeed, at some point, a woman who, thanks to her husband’s betrayal, has worked through all her mistakes and risen to a new level, it becomes unimportant whether this man or another will be next to her. Just because there will definitely be someone next to her. ”

Yes, between you is exactly the love that people have always made legends about s. Yes, everything before that was just a kindergarten. Of course, he loves you more than anyone in the world. But he does not leave his wife.

No, of course he will. He just needs to finish an important project. Or when the children grow up (finish school, go to college, have their own children, get old ...) In other words, when the lilacs bloom in January.

He constantly feeds you promises, but in fact nothing happens. What to do in this case?

Eliminate sex

Yes, it's the best sex you've ever had. We know. It is difficult for you to refuse this pleasure, but it is definitely necessary to make this effort on yourself.

Do not think that someday he will experience such an orgasm that will make him immediately pack up and move out of his wife. Don't be fooled, it won't happen.

Divorce is not an easy decision. This affects his family and relationships with children.

While he is sure that he can be with you and with her at the same time, why should he make any body movements at all?

He is satisfied with everything. And you can be fed with fables about a happy “someday”.

Don't talk to him on the phone

Yes, you are the only one who knows and understands him so well. You are flattered by this, and you are ready to hang on the wire for hours, chatting with him about different things.

You think that since you support him in any situation, then one day he will understand that you are simply made for each other. And he leaves his wife.

No, he believes that he is entitled to receive this support from you. He thinks you are his property. And this does not prevent him from going home to his wife after talking with you.

Stop seeing him

Don't be afraid to push him away from you. Do not be afraid that he will forget you overnight. You are a refuge from a hateful marriage, where sex, comfort, joy and love reign.

Give him a chance to miss you and see how he takes advantage of that chance.

Perhaps this is what will make him understand that it is time to make a real masculine decision, and not continue to rush between two fires.