Of course, everyone knows what “priority” is ... This is a concept that determines importance, primacy. So, try to prioritize the following 5 categories: your work, yourself, your children, your partner (beloved man or woman) and your loved ones (relatives, friends).

For convenience, it is advisable to present these categories in the form of a table and indicate a number from 1 to 5 opposite each criterion in order of priority:

I myself (myself) __________ place
Work ________________ place
Children (child) _______ place
Husband (Wife) ____________ place
Parents, friends ______ place

If today you do not have children, this does not mean that you do not give them some place in your life. The same is true if you are single, because hypothetically you still imagine what place a loved one will take in your life when he appears. You must answer sincerely and honestly.

Now let's see what it actually looks like.

At the first place: Regardless of gender, you yourself should always be (both men and women). If a person is in order, then the other person next to him will be fine. Otherwise, it is the psychology of the victim to put someone above himself. As a rule, it manifests itself as “dependence” in relationships and this condition is more typical for women.

In second place: A woman should have a beloved man or husband. As soon as someone else gets between a woman and a man, get ready for the fact that problems may immediately appear. If you, dear ladies, really want intimacy and warm relations, then there should not be anyone between you and a man, not even children! If your husband puts between you, for example, his mother, then it is necessary to correctly and patiently, with love, explain to him that this is not constructive for your relationship.

A man should have a job in second place. Yes, just like that and nothing else. A woman or children should not be more important for a man than work. And if a woman lacks his attention, then you need to take care of yourself and make your life more interesting, respectively, she will immediately become interesting to her man. In the nature of a man, the desire to achieve and obtain results. And in fact, he tries for his family, so that the family does not need anything and is proud of him. Being proud of a man is very important!

On the third place: Of course, a man has a beloved woman. Not his mother, not his children from his first marriage. If this place is occupied by someone else, then it is necessary to gently and patiently explain that there can be only one adult next to the man. Otherwise, harmonious relations will not work.

The woman has children in third place. If a woman has the right priorities and children are not a priority value compared to a man, then children in such a harmonious atmosphere will be easy and comfortable.

In fourth place: And here the man's children occupy an honorable fourth place. And children from a previous marriage, too. Very often, men do not divide children at all into their own and not their own. They are all his.

The woman is in fourth place relatives. This is, first of all, the parents and parents of the husband, too. An important duty of a woman is to build good and respectful relations with her husband's parents, as well as, if possible, smooth out all conflicts.

In fifth place: The man has friends and family. If friends become paramount, look for problems and problems in your relationship. Because the duty of a woman in relation to her man is to become his closest friend.

A woman has a job in fifth place. Ideally, a woman should go to work to rest, since her biggest workload and main job is in the family. And if there is a man next to her who takes care of her, then the work most likely takes on the form of a hobby. If the work is necessary to replenish the family budget, then the woman does not work well in the family and does not inspire her man enough to achieve so that he can take good care of her.

It is sometimes so difficult for us women to understand male psychology! Well, for example, why shouldn't the beloved sit next to us all his free time, dreamily sighing and looking at the moon? No, they always have something to do. Either a friend needs help with the move, or a neighbor bought a new car, all the technical details need to be clarified, or an employee called for fishing. In general, not family life, but some kind of station turns out.

And we, women, so want to sit in an embrace with a loved one at the TV, go to visit friends, and go shopping together in the end! And he has all the affairs and worries, and this is besides work! Or even cooler - work on weekends. But at home there is always something to do. No, it is difficult for us to understand a man ... but it is possible.

Indeed, in order to understand the psychology of a man, it is enough to remember history. From time immemorial, men have been the breadwinners in the family. Why? Yes, because the main instinct of a man is the instinct of procreation. In order for the family to continue, it is necessary not only to cut the children, but to provide them and their mother with a comfortable existence. Sons must grow up healthy, and for this they must eat well. Here is the number one reason for workaholism.

Reason number two also extends from time immemorial. Fear of losing the mother of their children. After all, it is known that a woman chooses a man, and not vice versa. Even according to divorce statistics, women file for divorce almost twice as often as men. Based on the postulate that the main thing is the continuation of the family, a man takes care of his woman so that she takes care of his offspring. And about him along the way. He's just afraid to be alone! So, it is necessary to take care of relationships in the family, and earn money so that the woman is satisfied.

Next on the list of reasons we have the psychology of leadership. It is very important for a man that other “males” do not try to take a woman away from him. He must prove to everyone that he is a leader. Where can he do it? Again among colleagues. And it doesn’t matter that his employees do not have access to, because the same historically formed instinct of the pack works. A man wants to feel like a leader among those around him.

The next reason is purely psychological - self-confidence. Completeness complex. Or inferiority, this is from which side to look. And he is driven by the same animal fear of losing the woman he loves. Not only friends, acquaintances, wife and children must recognize a man as accomplished. First of all, he wants to convince himself that he has realized himself as a person and is able to provide for his family.

Men have a bad habit of comparing themselves to others. Many of them really suffer when someone close to them turns out to be better than them. And if he cannot convince himself that others also have the right to self-realization, then he will strive by all means to earn enough to look no worse than others in his own eyes.

Another point is communication. Yes, yes, yes ... you see, it’s not enough for him to communicate with his beloved, give him a stream of information! It's like there isn't enough of it on TV. And it's useless to tell him about the new rags of his girlfriends and culinary recipes, he wants information of a different kind.

Well, for dessert, a man devotes all his free time to work when he is truly passionate about it. There are not many such lucky ones, but they are. For a woman, such a man can be both a gift and a real punishment. A gift because people who are passionate about their work usually earn more because they approach it creatively. And as a punishment... a man in love with his work may not notice the woman next to him at all. And even sincerely surprised: “what else do they, women, need, because everything is in the house?”

And it can be very difficult for such men to understand that there are much fewer workaholics among women. That not only labor achievements are important for us, but also warmth, and affection, and a gentle word.

The Art of Seduction

PART 12

Each person has a purpose in life and their own idea of ​​happiness. For many women, this is a good family, a beloved and loving husband, healthy children. Men also want to have a family, and a beloved woman, and their own children. However, unlike women, all this is not in their first place. The priority for a real man is work, career, business. A man must constantly assert himself, prove his own importance to himself and others. Having achieved something significant in life, he is looking for more and more new goals. In an effort to tie a man to herself, jealous of him for work, arranging scenes for him because he keeps slipping away, a woman makes a big mistake.

Do not be jealous of his work. It's just the way men are. They are not interested in what women are interested in. A man cannot just love and dissolve in his love, he has other priorities in life. And there is nothing offensive for us women. We are like that, but men are different.

Even if you are in love, he should not be the center of your universe. Forget forever the words "for his sake." You SHOULD NOT change your lifestyle, your habits, your character, or your hobbies for him. The more interests you have, the more interesting you are for a man.

Only women who have no other interests in life "go in cycles" in a man. And, as a rule, this leads to a dramatic situation. When a man becomes the only light in the window for a woman, he begins to be burdened by this and rushes with all his might from the marshy swamp of her all-consuming love.

Keep this in mind and do not repeat the mistakes of such women.

If your man runs away from you to his friends or to work, then you need to change your attitude to the problem.

Instead of suffering and feeling abandoned, come up with interesting activities for yourself, sign up for some courses, learn foreign languages, do not refuse to communicate with other people, read more (but not detective stories and romance novels!), Be aware of everyone political news (men's favorite topic of conversation is politics, even on the level of "Clinton-Lewinsky and why she didn't wash that dress"). Less conversations on household topics and about your problems, more information that may be of interest to your partner.

Make your life interesting without it. And then you will be interesting to each other, and communication will be a holiday for both of you.

To paraphrase Hemingway, we can say that a loved one is a holiday that is always with you. So do not deprive yourself of the holiday!

Ask less and do not climb into his soul. Do not forget that almost every member of the opposite sex wants to have the image of a real man. Whatever he really is, in the eyes of those around him and in his own eyes, he wants to see himself purposeful, strong, independent (primarily from a woman) and free. Freedom comes first. (“What kind of a man who depends on a woman?” - so says one of my friends.)

In fact, under the outwardly strong armor of impenetrability and independence, fear and uncertainty can lurk. And if a woman encroaches on this image, figuratively speaking, gets too close and tries to look into the soul, then most men react negatively to this, and some, especially impressionable ones, may panic.

In this case, the man will most likely run away, or at least run to a safe distance that allows him to feel comfortable away from encroachments on his freedom.

Although such behavior is by no means beautiful, men like to mask their fears with a pathos declaration. If you break the rules of the game, you will hear a lot of unpleasant words (“You are the same owner as all the women!”, “I don’t need these woman’s snot!”, “You are not able to understand me!”, “You want to tie me to your skirt!", "I don't need your chicken problems!" - and so on in the same vein) and you can lose your lover.

Learn it. Don't close the distance enough to scare him. If there is no trusting relationship between you yet, then do not rush things. Women can lay out everything in their hearts in the first meeting, but it is unusual for men to open up so quickly. Over time, if he thinks you deserve it, he will give you his trust.

Ten professions that are not dominated by inflation, sanctions and creative crises.

Interview: Maria Mikulina @MariaMikulina

Yes, difficult times have come. if in one word. The economic crisis, if two. Quite the edge, if in two pathetic words. and creative agencies are closing. Office plankton flocks to the street. Scooter prices skyrocketed, smoothie blood levels dropped. On Facebook, you can only hear: “Reduced! Fired! There are no jobs!”

But this is not true. We intend to prove the opposite to you: there is work, there is. Real man's work. This is always in demand - and in well-fed times, and in a crisis. And this is not an unfounded statement. Meet ten men who know how to make money in any conditions. And take an example from them. Or at least just exclaim: “Wow, well done!”

An electrician

Where to study

I studied for several months at courses for professional retraining of personnel. In general, I graduated from the Institute of Culture and Arts. He worked at, was even a store director, a business coach. Some people like to work in the office, some don't. To me - no.

Where to get clients

I work for DES. Each of the electricians has either its own client base, or foremen with whom you constantly cooperate. The client base develops by itself: a good specialist is always needed.

Initial set

DEZs do not issue anything. However, a large amount of tools for working in the DEZ is not needed, because the work is mainly with the operation of equipment. The tool will cost literally two thousand rubles, if you know what you need.

How in general?

The working day starts at 9 am. Officially. But that doesn't mean you have to be there exactly by nine. You can safely drink coffee without fear of being late. The most important thing is that there are no complaints. Personally, I work in shifts, two after two. I don't like being tied down, I love relative freedom, and here I feel like I'm on a horse. Here you can see the end result. The light bulb does not light - you changed the light bulb, it caught fire. Immediately satisfaction from own work.

You can have from 70 to 100 thousand rubles a month. The question is where do you live, how do you work. In any case, there is always work and you can always earn a piece of bread. I still remember very clearly the crisis of 2008, when I was not paid my wages for four months in my place in the office.

Pechnik

Andrey, 45 years old, Moscow

Where to study

In Moscow, there are courses called - School of Russian Masters. Education - two months, there are full-time and correspondence courses. It costs something around 30 thousand rubles. Then they can take in assistants - the second person, the third person in the team. Courses do not provide practical knowledge. You know the theory, but how in practice ... But the community of stove-makers does not leave its people in trouble. You can choose any of the list - call, ask. Gradually, you learn from your mistakes, from your bumps.

Initial set

The more you plunge into the profession, the more tools you need. And at first you can get by with a grinder, a trowel, nothing else is needed.

How in general?

I have been laying stoves since 2010. There are professions where people earn money. There are professions that people do for the soul. And in this work, you can combine both. All my clients constantly call, congratulate me on all the holidays, invite me to visit: “If you drive by, stop by for tea.”
There is also a negative. Now there are many guest workers everywhere, they do everything. Starting with the construction of fences and digging wells and ending with the construction of houses and the construction of stoves. When you arrive at the facility and find out that you are already the third stove-maker, that the person was burned twice ... But if you know your job, after 5-6 days this negativity disappears and normal relations appear.

At least 100 thousand rubles a month. More than the average salary in Moscow.

carpenter

Where to study

I have a secondary special education, I studied after school. You can get a job as an apprentice to the master - usually not very qualified workers go.

Initial set

A basic set of carpenter's tools will cost about 30 thousand rubles.

How in general?

In general, I like the work. I get pleasure. Again, variety: you can make furniture and stairs, especially if you work for yourself. So I just started building a workshop on my site. The only bad thing is the injuries. Well, yes, two days ago I drilled my hand. I'm already used to the fact that for each order a drop of blood is standard. When I make furniture - either a deep splinter, or something else.

If you work for hire, on average you can get 40-50 thousand rubles. And if you yourself, like me, then you can easily receive from 30 to 100 thousand rubles a month, depending on orders. You choose when to rest, when to work. I actually have a higher economic education. But what's the point? Then I will receive the same 30 thousand rubles, but by working all month. And as a carpenter, if I work hard, I can earn them in three days.

Nurse

Where to study

You can not study at all, since often nurses are required without special education. A few years ago I found myself in Moscow without work and housing, and at first it so happened that I contracted to sit with the grandfather of a friend, and then I realized that, in principle, I was satisfied with such a life. I work under private agreements, but there are also agencies where they will train, if necessary, and draw up documents. If you have a medical education, you can do injections, droppers, dressings - you will earn more, although sometimes the difference is very small.

Initial set

All that is needed, including rubber gloves, is provided by the relatives of the ward. All you need is physical strength. And more. Sometimes patients are very full, and they have to be lifted, turned over, and some of them even carried to the bathroom, for example. And if a person has it, then you need to be able to hold him, fix him, if necessary ... It is also important that there is no physical disgust and what I would call good-natured indifference: if you worry too much about the patient, it’s harder for you, but it’s also the last thing to get angry at him, get annoyed .

How in general?

Fine. Of course, you are tied to the place, it is not always possible even to go to the store if there is no replacement. But I am a loner in life, I like to read, watch movies, play games, surf the Internet - and there is enough time for all this. I now have a paralyzed patient who is quite elderly, he sleeps most of the time. You wash him, change his clothes, feed him, give him pills, read something to him aloud, go about your business - and the day has passed.

I have my own room in an apartment, travel card, Internet, full meals and 30 thousand a month for personal expenses. In principle, there is nothing to spend on, I convert almost everything into foreign currency and save it for the future.

crane operator

Where to study

I studied at the company, there were three-month courses. And he immediately got a job there. In general, now there are many courses for crane operators, any licensed institution teaches. I don't want to learn. There are also requirements for candidates, mainly medical ones. Still, we are dealing with different factors: chemical compounds, elevated temperature. Completely pass the medical examination. If healthy in all respects, they give admission to training.

Initial set

The cost of the courses is free. And during the training, you also get paid some kind of salary.

How in general?

This is an interesting job. Mechanisms and pieces of iron are what any man is interested in. Be sure to know the basics of repairing equipment. Work in shifts: there is a morning shift, there is an evening shift. Morning - from 6:30 to 14:00, evening - from 14:00 to 22:00. The actual workload is about half the shift, 4–5 hours.
The first time you study, you work in tandem with a slinger who walks under a crane. It shows the commands you need to understand. Stress, of course, is still there, as it is dangerous: the cable can break at any moment. But you get used to it with time.

The average salary is 40-50 thousand rubles. For our region, this is a very good salary. My wife works in a kindergarten for 10 thousand. The average salary in our city is 30 thousand rubles. So I'm not complaining.

Greenhouse assembler

Where to study

I came to the organization when I knew nothing, and I was trained. They saw the enthusiasm and took me. The main thing is to have a desire to learn. Started working in 2005, the work was related to glazing. Now for several years I have been engaged in greenhouses.

How in general?

If I didn't like the job, I would look for something more interesting. I think a person should always strive for the best. The number of orders depends on the season. In the spring, the snow melts - everyone leaves for the gardens, they start ordering greenhouses. But, in principle, in winter there is a demand for greenhouses: they are cheaper out of season. If you engage in glazing in different directions, then you can keep yourself busy all year round. The working day can start very early - sometimes you have to wake up, for example, at four in the morning. Hours of operation are not standardized. I adhere to this principle: "If a person does not find time for rest, he will find time for treatment." Weekends are a must with the family, family comes first. In general, I have time to relax.

The average salary of an assembly worker, if we take our region, is about 40 thousand rubles. This is quite enough for our places. During the season you can earn more. There are a lot of wrong things going on in our region when it comes to work. They don't pay salaries to people. At my old place of work, in a different specialty, I still owe money. Now I am much calmer financially.

plumber

Where to study

I have been in the profession for over five years. I did not finish the course, I studied along the way. I consulted with the guys and coached myself, so to speak.

Initial set

A basic set of plumbing tools is at least 40–50 thousand rubles. You also need a power tool: a puncher, a grinder.

How in general?

In general, I like the work: I am my own boss. At least I haven't found anything better yet. My working day starts at six in the morning, because I live in the Moscow region, and I work in Moscow - it takes a lot of time to get to the object. But it all depends on the order - if anything, I can later. The main negative in the work: misunderstanding with the customer. Fortunately, this doesn't happen often.

We work piecework, month after month is not necessary. On average - from 70 thousand rubles a month.

Groomer

Where to study

I studied for three months at the Master Groom firm in St. Petersburg. To sit on the tail of a specialist - now there is no such thing. Lots of courses and seminars. Within a year you become a normal groomer. Training is not everything, experience is needed.

Where to get clients

Our firm has a VKontakte page, and I have a VKontakte page. For example, people walk with dogs: “Where did you cut your hair so beautifully?” - "Over there." - "Okay, give me the phone number." Word of mouth is stable.

Initial set

Desire and understanding that this is a physically and psychologically difficult profession.

Everyone has their own attitude to the meaning of life. Someone thinks that the main thing in life is to build a house, plant a tree and raise a son, but for another, none of this is necessary, he feels happy only remaining free, having fun in the company of friends and beautiful girls. But the most important thing for every man is to have a high ranking among other men.

For anyone, it is extremely important that when communicating with friends, classmates, work colleagues and just acquaintances, he has the opportunity to be proud of his achievements. Even if at the same time he exaggerates his success a little, the man does not consider this a deception. It is especially important for him to have a high rating among his peers and girls who did not reciprocate. The refusal of a girl greatly reduces the rating of a man and it is very important for him to hope that after a while he will be able to raise it.

Some argue that for them the main thing in life is to live for the sake of children. However, they are cunning, children are not the most important thing in the life of men. No matter how much a man has children, it is very important for him to know that he is able to feed and clothe them. If a man does not have such confidence, then he emotionally dies and loses interest in life. Therefore, without success, family life and children cease to please a man, he may even declare that he does not want to have children anymore.

Most the main thing for a man- this is something outside the family that brings the respect of the wife, children, relatives and friends. It can be a career, money, property and other goals that will help a man increase his rating. At the same time, the money itself, the prestige of the profession, property, an expensive car are just tools to increase the rating among other men and respect for family members. Sometimes it happens that a man occupies a high position and provides for his family well, but does not feel respect and love from his wife. This causes him great resentment, and he ceases to strive to achieve better success.

There is a big difference between young guy and mature man. The young guy is boyishly naive, but full of strength and hope that he will definitely reach the top of the rankings. For this reason, he changes jobs quite often, hoping that it will be more prestigious, goes in for sports and pumps muscles. It is important for a young man to make good money, achieve material success and look strong among other men.

mature man already married, has children and has reached a certain position in society. For him, stability at work and in the family is important, he values ​​​​the respect of colleagues and relatives. He no longer needs to prove that he is better than other men. If he loses his job or does not feel the respect of family members, then in order to protect himself from constant reproaches and quarrels, he will simply go on a binge or sit at the computer all day.

AT every man's life there are periods when, for various reasons, he cannot move up in the rating or even falls down. For example, he was an excellent specialist at work, but when he turned 60 he had to retire. This means one thing for a man - he drops out of the rating, which is tantamount to losing the meaning of life.

come like this a crisis maybe at the age of 35-40 years. When a young guy gets an education, gets a job and hopes to improve his rating soon. For several years he has been working diligently, ignoring the low salary and constant reproaches from management, since all his peers are approximately at the same rating level as himself.

However, by the age of 35, some of his peers and friends are pulling ahead, they have career growth prospect. Someone gets a promotion, someone starts their own successful business. Their incomes and material opportunities become many times greater. The lack of movement in the rating becomes in this case a real crisis for a man. That is why many men at the age of 35-40 begin to stop paying attention to their wife, are constantly silent or have mistresses, wanting to fill their spiritual emptiness.

Of course, "coolness" is also important for a woman, his reliability, the ability to provide and protect not only her, but also children. Men appreciate more women who are able to understand him and increase his rating. However, most wives, tired of their husband's endless promises and failures, stop supporting him, criticize and humiliate him, which leads to a final decrease in a man's self-esteem, and he completely stops striving to improve his rating.

Conclusion: success for a man is more important than a beloved woman and children. Help your man improve his rating, and then he will be a successful, happy, loving husband and father. To do this, do not criticize your husband and do not show discontent, but believe in him and admire his successes, even if they are insignificant. Do not try to change your man, his character and personality have already been formed. Accept him for who he is and tell him more often: "You are my best!".