At the age of 21, young people are already accepted by society as adults, independent. At the same time, this same society reveals itself in all its colors, both light and dark, forcing a person to obey the rules and live in accordance with them. Then a person realizes that his independence is relative, since it must fit into the laws of society.

During this period, many have already found a permanent job or started a family, increasing the psychological stress. Now a person tries on not only the role of a son / daughter, a student, but also a mother / father, an employee. The need to have time to do everything teaches you to think quickly and not slow down.

The other side of 21 is a life of pleasure. Some irresponsibility is still permissible now, for which there will be no opportunity in the future. Therefore, some tend to use this time to the fullest.

If by the age of 21 it was not possible to start a family, find a job and enjoy life, a young person may experience depression and fatigue. It will be important for him to get answers to the questions: "What do I want?", "What needs to be done for this?"

Physiology of age

The process of growth and formation of the organism comes to an end, and all the main dimensional characteristics of the body reach almost their final size. A period of full physical maturity begins. Bone tissue finally replaced the intervertebral discs and made the sacral spine immobile. The ossification of the phalanges of the toes and hands was completed.

Age statistics

The population of the Russian Federation in this age period (20-24 years) is 12671 thousand people. Of these young people - 6409 thousand people, girls - 6262 thousand people.

Of the population of this age group employed in the Russian economy, only 9.4%

Were you born in 1998 or 1999

1998 - August 17th. In Russia, the ruble depreciated, which led to an exacerbation of the economic crisis. The country's government has resigned.

September 24. The first transplantation of a deceased patient's limb to a living one took place. In the city of Lyon, France, a hand and forearm were transplanted.

12 December. In the United States, the first child organ transplant operation was performed. A three-year-old boy from Florida at a Pennsylvania hospital received a heart, lung and liver transplant.

1999 - 1st of January. Most of the countries of the European Union have switched to settlements in the new European currency - the euro.

March 24. The first NATO air raid was carried out on Yugoslavia. The US invaded a sovereign state that was not threatened by a third party.

2000 - 26 March. The election of V.V. Putin to the post of President of the Russian Federation. Official inauguration took place on May 7.

A robotic developmental doll was created in the USA. She knew how to talk, laugh, cry, blink, make grimaces. In the process of communicating with people, she increased her vocabulary and reached the developmental level of a two-year-old child.

The first medicinal products were created in Novosibirsk, to the usual name of which the prefix "Bifido" was added. They contain a liquid concentrate of bifidobacteria, which have a positive effect on the intestinal microflora, prevent the development of pathogenic microbes and nourish the body with B vitamins and vitamin K. Such products quickly gained popularity among customers.

2001 - January 15. There was an official launch of the English site Wikipedia - a resource that today has become an assistant in the rapid acquisition of encyclopedic data in all areas of life.

11 September. The largest terrorist act in the history of the world has been committed in the United States. As a result, the Pentagon was damaged, the Trade Center was destroyed, and the loss of life was about three thousand people.

2002 - 1st of January. The European Union introduced euro coins and banknotes, which became the single currency for most EU countries and played an important role in stabilizing the global European economy.

October. After 50 years, the restoration of the railway between North and South Korea began.

October 23. In Moscow, Russia, Chechen terrorists took hostages at the Nord-Ost theater center on Dubrovka. 3 days later, on October 26, during the assault by special forces, all the terrorists were killed. One of the hostages died from a bullet wound, the remaining 116 people died from the effects of the gas used during the assault.

2004 - Bloodless revolutions took place in Georgia, Ukraine, Kyrgyzstan, as a result of which more democratic leaders came to power.

1st of May. The European Union expanded its scope by adding ten new countries.

2005 - 5 January. Discovered Eris - the largest of the dwarf planets in our solar system.

2006 - March 29. On the territory of Russia, the first total eclipse of the sun could be observed in the 21st.

24 August. Scientists have stripped Pluto of planetary status. This decision was made at the congress of the International Union of Astronomers in Prague, Czech Republic.

2007 - Geneticists have discovered modifications in the human body that are responsible for the development of certain diseases. It became possible, after DNA analysis, to identify a predisposition to certain diseases.

November 4th. Presidential elections were held in the United States. The head of state was the first black president in the history of the state - Barack Obama.

2009 - August 17th. There was a disaster at the Sayano-Shushenskaya hydroelectric power station. Hundreds of people became victims. The cause of the malfunction was a series of defects and a failure in the redistribution of electricity in the power system.

2010 - March 18. Russian mathematician Grigory Perelman proved Poincaré's conjecture, which was considered one of the unsolvable Problems of the Millennium. For this, the Clay Mathematical Institute awarded him a prize of $ 1 million, which he refused.

April 10th. A plane crash occurred over Smolensk, in which Lech Kaczynski, the President of Poland, his wife Maria Kaczynska, the high military command, Polish politicians, as well as religious and public figures (97 people in total), died.

The first living cell was created, in which its own DNA was replaced with artificially created DNA. Humanity has received new tools for the development of technologies for the artificial cultivation of organs.

2011 - 11th of March. In Japan, off the northeast coast, there was an earthquake, which reached 8.9 in magnitude. As a result of the earthquake, a devastating tsunami occurred, as a result of which over 15 thousand people died, several thousand are considered missing.

May 2. Was killed Osama bin Laden - terrorist "number 1" in the world, the leader of al-Qaeda, who, in particular, is considered responsible for the terrorist attack "September 11".

September 7. A plane crash of an international charter flight took place near Yaroslavl. On board the plane was the team of the hockey club "Lokomotiv", which flew to Minsk. 44 people died, only one survived.

2012 - February 21. In Moscow, in the Cathedral of Christ the Savior, a scandalous punk prayer service by the PussyRiot group took place, three members of which were detained by the police.

December 1. Russia topped the Big Twenty (G20) - a forum of representatives of countries with the most developed economies: Australia, Japan, Argentina, South Africa, Brazil, South Korea, Great Britain, France, Germany, Turkey, India, USA, Indonesia, Saudi Arabia, Italy, Mexico, Canada, China.

2013 - February, 15. In the Urals, a meteorite fell - the largest celestial body that collided with the Earth's surface after the Tunguska meteorite. Because of the "Chelyabinsk" meteorite (it exploded in the vicinity of Chelyabinsk), 1,613 people were injured.

February, 15. Asteroid 2012 DA14 flew by at a minimum distance from planet Earth (27,000 km). In the entire history of astronomy, this was the closest distance.

March 18. Vladimir V. Putin signed an agreement on the admission of the Crimean Peninsula and Sevastopol to Russia. This agreement begins to operate from the moment of ratification by the Federal Assembly - March 21.

2015 - Jan. 7. A terrorist attack took place in the office of the satirical magazine "Charlie Hebdo" in Paris, based on a cartoon of the Prophet Mohammed previously published in the magazine. 12 people were killed, 11 people were wounded.

1. "I'm the happiest person in the world! The age difference is 21 years, and it sounds rather scandalous. I graduated from school and went to college, now I have a stable job. At the beginning of our romance, I seemed to myself a ghost in his house: he was busy at work, constantly talking on the phone ... I did not know how to distract him from this. Now he carries over all the conversations for later, and I no longer feel like on the outskirts of his world. I stopped communicating with my parents, they do not understand me, ”- Alla, 25 years old.
2. “It's like any other long-term relationship. With the difference that he is less assertive in sex than younger men. And much more passionate! At first I doubted a lot, but now I understand that it was the right decision. Nobody looks at us askance, we are a great couple, we always hold hands and have fun. Some men try to convince me that because of the age difference my partner is manipulating me, but this is nonsense. Mom was not too happy, because I hid our relationship to the last. But now they communicate well. Our age difference is 12 years ”, - Nadezhda, 30 years old.
3. “Now everything seems beautiful and romantic. But couples with a difference in age have always seemed strange to me. Then I was 18 years old, and he was 28. Sometimes he manipulated me, because I was very young, and he seemed so grown up! " - Elena, 31 years old.
4. “I realized long ago that although I like older men, because they are smart, uninhibited, interesting, they do not see me as a suitable partner. They only see my young face and figure, what is important in the sex market. Realizing this, I stopped meeting such people. If I had a time machine, I would warn the younger version of myself that they only see what is outside, ”- Olga, 28.
5. “He is 11 years older. Once I got bored because we have different interests and sometimes there is nothing to talk about. We exchanged questions “How was your day?” And “Did you watch that program?” ... We also had different schedules, inconvenient, ”- Yana, 32
6. “He is 30 years older, we have been together for nine years. I noticed that he often does not allow me to do something, but I am an adult and have the right to communicate, drink wine and meet people. He doesn't pay attention. We do not swear over trifles, in difficult cases we sit down and talk ”, - Albina, 28 years old.
7. “He often says that I am wrong, because he is 12 years younger. And he is older and smarter, and one day I will understand ... In general, older men often try to command and manipulate, ”- Vlada, 29 years old.
8. “I am 25, he is 48. We do not have the same temperament, he doesn’t need anything. And I love sex several times a week. We meet somewhere in the middle. We sleep in different rooms ”, - Elizabeth.

There are couples whose age gap is 10-20 and 30 years or 1-2 years, there are many families of the same age. How small or large the age difference between a man and a woman can be for a happy marriage, and how it affects relationships - psychologists often reflect, give advice for couples in unequal marriage.

Family relations specialists determine the optimal difference for a relationship between a man and a woman at about 5-6 years. Such a gap does not feel noticeable, and a union in which the husband is a little older than his wife is considered comfortable.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have been together for many years.

The couple is in an emotionally suitable age band that does not go beyond the boundaries of one generation, they have a similar worldview, they are worried about the same problems.

It is easier for relatives on both sides to communicate. A young man of 28-30 years old in most cases stands well on his feet and can independently support a family.

A girl of 22-24 years old is at a favorable age for the birth of children. The future head of the family consciously assesses the issue of offspring and will be able to help his wife in the difficult period of bearing, giving birth and raising a baby.

A tandem in which the age of a husband and wife differs by a year is considered quite harmonious. Scientists have proven that the greater the age distance between partners, the higher the divorce rate.

Man and woman are the same age

A union in which a husband and wife are of the same age occurs quite often. Such marriages occur during adolescence, when young people communicated and studied together. These pairs have many advantages:

• common interests;
• the same vision of the future;
• mutual friends;
• equivalent experience gained.

And disadvantages:

• people who got to know each other well before marriage may lose interest in their soulmate;
• quarrels often arise over trifles;
• there is no more mature partner willing to compromise;
• often the role of a leader falls not on the shoulders of the female half, which is not to the liking of an emotional and immature husband.

Pros and cons of a relationship if the man is older

A variant of a relationship in which a man is older than a woman is considered classic.

Cons of this partnership:

1. Most of the representatives of the strong half of humanity are divorced and have adult children.
2. Basically, the husband becomes the head of the family, but there are exceptions.
3. An inferiority complex appears due to rivalry and jealousy towards young people.
4. It is impossible to remake the faithful, this is a formed and well-established personality.
5. An unequal union is distinguished by a difference in life concepts.

Pros:

1. An older man has more experience sexually and is able to please his wife.
2. The husband feels happy and rejuvenated next to his young wife.
3. Such a marriage bond is more durable and more comfortable than the rest.
4. The chosen one feels young in such a marriage.
5. Older husbands are great fathers.

A man is 5 years older than a woman

The age difference of 5 years between a man and a woman, according to research by scientists, is insidious. The senior gentleman will most likely become the leader, and his half will become the slave. The partner will have to constantly please the leader. Relationships are difficult to break off and difficult to maintain.

Psychologists assure that in practice this is the most successful marriage.

The representative of the strong article has achieved some success, gained life experience and approaches the formation of a family with greater responsibility. Such a married couple has more children than other families.

According to statistics, guys decide to create a home by the age of 30, and choose a spouse a little younger. Such alliances are strong and successful, because they are not stopped either by the difference in outlook, or by the lack of starting funds, because by a certain period, the future spouse receives some property and financial independence.

A man is 10 years older than a woman

Marriages with a 10-year age difference between a man and a woman are becoming more and more popular. The society perceives them loyally.

A partner in such a union reaches recognized heights in his career and financial independence, does not want to succumb to the statements of relatives and friends about his own family. He has a lot of experience, which helps him to create relationships not on emotions, but on the knowledge of the female psyche.

A spouse who is 10 years older than his half is significantly less prone to make unreasonable mistakes, which are inherent in guys during the dawn of family life. He condescendingly perceives the shortcomings of the faithful, shows wisdom in everyday matters and conflicts. The primary factor is the sexual experience that allows pleasure on the nuptial bed.

The age difference between a man and a woman of 10 years is ideal, according to psychology experts. In this version, the wife will be behind the spouse, and not around or manipulate his actions.

This age gap will help the couple feel on the same level, because in 65% of cases, this distance leads partners to a joint elevated state in which the marriage is listed as happy and long-term.

Considering such a marriage, it is necessary to take into account the level of intelligence and psychological development of the spouses, joint hobbies and interests.

A man is 15 years older than a woman

In these relationships, problems arise even during the period of acquaintance with parents and relatives and do not end during family life. Society is worried about the unselfishness of a girl who is ready to live with a representative of the strong half of humanity, suitable for her as a father.

Disadvantages of such a marriage:

• male jealousy. Even if this is a materially and professionally accomplished person, he is worried that the young partner will go to a peer. Sometimes suspicions turn into paranoia with inherent excessive control and inhibitions;
• reproaches from the beloved. He believes that providing the faithful materially, you can recall this fact to her at the moment of a quarrel or put forward as an argument in a dispute;
• usually the presence of a previous family. The ex-spouse and common children can intervene in a new union.

Advantages:

• serious intentions. A respectable man has decided what he wants and values ​​beauty and inner peace in a woman;
• stable financial situation, which gives the spouse the opportunity to develop and do what she likes;
• male tolerance, respect and a reasonable approach. A mature partner gives girls a sense of security and self-confidence;
• the mature chosen one is wise and can help in the development of business relationships and professional growth.

In order for a tandem with a gap of 15 years to be a successful partner, it is desirable to behave correctly:

• do not try to remake the betrothed;
• do not give cause for jealousy;
• do not interfere with communicating with children from a former marriage;
• strive for personal development;
• look like your partner;
• listen to his advice.

A man is 20 years older than a woman

The age difference of 20 years between a man and a woman was considered normal only a few hundred years ago, and young girls were given up for rich gentlemen who were suitable for their fathers. These marriages brought stability and financial prosperity.

In our time, the situation has changed, and girls often choose their betrothed themselves. And when a young lady chooses a 20-year-old older man, she receives a lot of criticism, accusations of commercialism and unreasonableness. Few believe in disinterested and genuine love between an older partner and a young girl.

Scientists have proven that such a relationship can shorten the life of a spouse. They have to listen to incessant gossip, social negativity directed at them brings stress, which affects their health.

An aging husband next to a young girl is, as it were, recharged by her energy, youth and feels more cheerful. And vice versa, the faithful seems to give up her strength, wither and grow old. This happens because the spouse subconsciously wants to outwardly harmonize with the partner and the energetic "recharge" makes itself felt.

But there is also a positive side. The young wife inspires her soul mate, sometimes even becomes a muse. This is important because most divorces stem from a lack of love and a lack of trust. If both partners have common sense and are working on their self-improvement, then the marriage is considered quite successful.

Experts in female psychology are confident that a girl in her 20s can feel safer and more comfortable with a 40-year-old man than with a peer.

Conversely, it is better for such a gentleman to be with a 20-year-old lover, because with proper health care, his hormones will be at their height for at least 20 years.

The man is older. The age difference is more than 20 years

The age difference between a man and a woman over 20 years is considered large and is extremely negatively perceived by society. There are more disadvantages than advantages in such an alliance.

Aging partners have enough experience, they have a stable financial situation. But most girls cannot but admit that not much time will pass, and from an attractive solid person with a slightly noticeable gray hair, the chosen one will turn into an old man with all the problems accompanying this state.

Young girls do not appreciate the chances of living with an old man, caring for his health and tolerating inadequate whims. They will have to adjust to the spouse's lifestyle and forget about normal sexual intercourse.

The likelihood of having offspring decreases, because most older people are prone to problems with conception. In addition to the physiological component, the majority already have children, and they are morally not ready for lack of sleep and raising a child.

Despite insurmountable obstacles, there are happy marriages where the husband is 20 years older than his wife. True feelings create miracles, and most beauties do not regret taking a step. A woman should carefully weigh the pros and cons before making such a choice.

Pros and cons of a relationship if the woman is older

Unions in which the spouse is older than the partner are not welcomed by the conservative society. The young husband is called gigolo, and the faithful old maid. Experts say that such a marriage is happy, provided that the gap is no more than 5 years old.

If a woman is 10 years or more older than her half, then there are several options for continuing the relationship. If the lady proves to be reasonable and patient, there will be no particular disagreements in the union. Psychologists say that this relationship is inspired by the subconscious desire of an adult spouse to do everything possible to preserve her family.

The advantages of this tandem:

• the fairer sex makes great efforts to give the appearance of youthfulness, spends a lot of time on self-care;
• tries with all his might to preserve the marriage;
• compatibility, where a young partner will be a joy for a lady who is at her sexual peak;
• a more loyal partner's attitude to domestic disturbances and petty quarrels;
• an experienced spouse will help with advice, will make the faithful feel needed and courageous.

And disadvantages:

• the wife is afraid that her half will stare at young girls, often feels jealous;
• disagreements may occur with relatives on both sides;
• difficulty communicating with her husband's friends and vice versa;
• others are struck by the external discrepancy of the couple;
• a woman will have to carefully maintain her health.

A woman is 5 years older than a man

The age difference of 5 years between a man and a woman is not uncommon because it is not a noticeable distance, especially in people over 30.

This union has many positive aspects:

• the partner makes great efforts to look young and seductive, as well as to avoid the hobbies of the chosen one by younger attractive persons;
• the wife has more experience and is sensible in resolving domestic troubles and minor conflicts;
• after 30, a woman experiences a surge of sexuality, and a young gentleman will satisfy him.

The negative factor is that the spouse is jealous, because she is getting old earlier, and is afraid to be uninteresting for the faithful.

A woman is 10 years older than a man

Unions with an age difference between a man and a woman in 10 years are not common, because representatives of a strong article, to express masculinity and sexuality, give priority to girls younger than themselves. Still, such marriages exist, and among them there are happy ones.

In this version, love alone is not enough, and if it is present in the initial period of the development of relations, then it quickly ends. Further, many difficulties arise, which consist in adapting to the nature of the partner, in overcoming everyday issues, and in the aging of the faithful.

With the appearance of noticeable wrinkles and fading of the skin, the partner begins to worry and compare herself with the peers of the chosen one.

The surrounding people have a negative attitude towards such a marriage. People do not understand why a man could not choose a young couple, and his half is credited with shamelessness and unreasonableness.

A large percentage of such couples do not withstand the pressure of loved ones against them and disperse, having survived a string of accusations and ridicule.

According to statistics, there are happy couples in which the spouse is 10 years older than the gentleman. If they have common interests, are passionate about one thing and are respected by each other, then it is possible to build harmonious and lasting relationships.

A woman is 15 years older than a man

There are marriages where a man is 15 years younger than his half. In this situation, young people are mainly attracted by the financial situation of the chosen one. Women 40-45 years old, who look young, have affairs with young men, but time takes its toll and there is a risk that the gentleman will go to a younger girl.

With an age distance of 15 years, even having difficulties, it is possible to build strong relationships. The main thing is correct behavior, mutual respect and an adequate response to criticism from society.

Tips for partners:

• real appreciation of the beloved. It is advisable to get rid of illusions and see if the chosen one can give a feeling of reliability, protection and attention. In their absence, it is likely that a person is attracted by material well-being;
• do not focus on your age;
• it is advisable to sort out your own feelings. It is important not to confuse maternal instinct with sincere love and sexual attraction;
• it is better to advise and pass on experience delicately, without preaching;
• carefully monitor your health and appearance;
• in the process of starting a relationship, it is necessary to clarify what everyone wants from this marriage.

Each person is unique in their worldview and values, and it is impossible to determine in which direction the connection will develop. It is important to listen to your heart, then there is a chance that everything will work out.

A woman is 20 years older than a man

A lady at any age wants to feel desirable and attractive, and the younger the chosen one, the more she succeeds. A woman who takes care of herself, at the age of 45, can captivate a young man. But few young gentlemen can while away their lives with a mature lady.

Such interest on the part of a partner is explained by a mercantile interest or internal mental experiences, which will not help create a happy tandem.

Marriage has its own explanations:

• continuous feminization of society;
• male immaturity;
• ultramodern methods that help to prolong female youth and beauty;
• coincidence of sexual outbursts;
• material and professional well-being of the chosen one;
• independence of morals.

The union is more attractive to a woman. She feels younger, more energetic, strives for development and personal growth. A partner is able to fashion a young gentleman for herself an ideal husband.

Men see their advantages in relationships:

• no need to pretend and cheat, because the spouse sees right through him;
• it is interesting to communicate with a richer experience of the chosen one;
• a mature lady is sexually developed, and is able to teach a young man a lot;
• the independence of the second half, who does not complain about problems, and which helps to solve the difficulties of the husband.

Such a marriage can be happy if it is shallow in love, trust and affection.

Do couples with big age gaps have a future?

There are successful marriages with a large age difference - psychologists say. But rare cases suggest that in most such marriages are not durable. Happy tandems are formed when the chosen one is morally mature and older than his own natural age, and the spouse looks much younger than the past years.

Having decided to build a relationship with a younger man, you should be prepared for the fact that the grown-up youth will leave at the most unexpected moment. It is necessary to have psychological stability in order to resist the criticism of the society.

The large age gap between spouses leaves an imprint on the relationship, because it is not easy to satisfy the needs of a person who is 15-20 years younger. It is not easy to adjust to the rhythm of life, the emotional, mental and physical demands of a partner.

The older representative of the strong half of humanity may not be interested in the amusements of the young half, because he passed this stage. Such couples have a future, the main thing is to preserve the feelings that have arisen, respect, and the presence of joint interests should be more important than the condemnation of outsiders.

Between a man and a woman, the difference in age does not matter as much as how old they are. Age distance is a subjective concept. Common interests, outlook on life, love and level of development are also important. For a successful union, mutual attractiveness and interest in each other are a must.

Useful videos about relationship psychology in age-gap couples

What does the age difference between spouses mean? What kind of relationship does it promise?

According to the Avestan astrological tradition (Avesta is the sacred book of the ancient Iranians), the New Year begins on March 21, when the Sun enters the sign of Aries.

Therefore, if one partner was born before March 21 of any year, and the other after March 21, the difference in the years of both partners should be reduced by one year. If both partners were born after March 21, then the age difference is established by simply subtracting the years lived.

It is customary to round up the difference to the nearest year if it is not more than three months, i.e. 1 year and 10 months is 2 years, and 2 years and 8 months is still 2 years, etc.

1 year difference in age- strong business relationships are formed. This partnership helps to strengthen the material situation. A marriage like this is good for convenience.

Age difference 2 years- gives an illusory form of communication. Marriage can only exist on a spiritual basis and a community of interests. In the case of simple emotional attachment, the initial attraction often later turns into resentment and the marriage may fall apart.

Age difference 3 years- leads to very tense relationships built on struggle and rivalry. This couple has a relationship often on the edge, in the balance. In addition, a heavy burden of trials and temptations usually falls on one of the partners, he is often ready to slander his other half.

Age difference 4 years- gives many chances for a more or less harmonious marriage, built on friendship, mutual assistance, cooperation. But, alas, time can change attitudes for the worse.

The difference between the ages of 5 and 10 years- this is not a chance meeting. There is a karmic connection between partners, which requires working off mutual debts. Karma keeps them close to each other; they must go through life in one direction, but at the same time one of them must be the leader, the other - the led.

Age difference 6 and 9 years- gives a very difficult form of relationship. In this alliance, trials, struggle, intrigues, intrigues on the part of the closest relatives are inevitable. Such a union is good for people whose quiet family life is boring, for thrill-seekers.

The difference between the ages of 7 and 14 years- gives the most mysterious relationship of partners. Family life is full of secrets, misunderstanding, inability to come to an agreement. Someone from the outside will constantly interfere with the marital relationship. Possible manifestations of the evil eye, damage. Such a connection is unpredictable and it is not known what it can lead to: either to rebirth, or to an internal breakdown. Such unions are good for a secret love affair.

The age difference is 8 years- gives peace of mind and the most harmonious form of marriage. The alliance of partners is based on deep affection and mutual assistance. The stability of relationships, confidence in each other helps to reveal their creativity. And this further contributes to the creation of a happy and successful marriage.

The age difference is 11 years- leads to the most unpredictable consequences. Relationships of the "all or nothing" type develop between partners. Constant changes are possible, a stubborn struggle for leadership, incessant criticism of each other. There is one good thing in this marriage - an irreconcilable couple can start all over again at any time.

Age difference 12 years- huge difficulties in mutual understanding and interaction between partners, leading to a very great unreliability of marriage. The union can start well, and then fall apart with a bang. He is strange and ambivalent. One of the partners usually always interferes with the development of the other. The consequences of such an alliance can be the most difficult and terrible (up to murder).

The age gap is 13 years- leads to interference in the relationship of partners of supernatural forces. The relationship is clear, predictable, missionary, leading to spiritual rebirth, transformation of consciousness, clarification. This is the "path to heaven", the road to spiritual heights, or ... "the path of death," that is, degradation.

Once unions, in which the age difference between lovers was ten, fifteen, and even more so twenty years, caused surprise, if not outright condemnation.

But in the twenty-first century, we can safely talk about a trend - the number of unions with a significant age difference is growing.

Shot from the movie "Sex and the City 2"

It is generally accepted that such unions are often involved in self-interest, on the social, career and financial ambitions of the parties, that these are alliances “without a future”, without prospects, accompanied by a lot of difficulties.

However, as practice shows, many men and women most often look for traditional values, depth and quality of relations in these unions. As a psychologist, having the opportunity to compare psychological problems in pairs of peers and couples with a significant difference in age, I come to the conclusion that these unions have very good reasons.

And often marriages of different ages become more harmonious and happy, and most importantly, more stable than couples of the same age. Let's try to consider all the possible pros and cons, strengths and weaknesses of such alliances. I want to make a reservation right away: we will talk about marriages concluded on the basis of mutual feelings, and not for some other reason.

Social side

Tilda Swinton and Sandro Kopp. The age difference of this couple is 18 years. They have been together since 2004

Children

A union in which a man is older is created, in addition to love and joy, as a rule, just for them and for their sake. Everything is ready: where to grow, what to grow. Most psychologists agree that the age of "conscious parenthood", that is, the age at which a man really wants to have children, comes closer to forty.

Men who became fathers early, immediately after twenty, more than once later admitted at consultations: "Only when the child was already ten years old, I finally understood what it means to be a father."

Jason Statham is 20 years older than Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. In June of this year, their first child was born - their son Jack Oscar. Jason became a father at 50

In the union “a woman is older”, a man must be prepared for the fact that there may not be children. But, in the end, a family is not only children. First of all, it is a union of two loving people. It also happens in a different way: in my practice I met several cases when children appeared in such marriages where women were over forty. Interestingly, in such couples, a man also goes into fatherhood as consciously as possible, although he may still be relatively young. A late (for a woman) child is a responsible step, and is possible only if both spouses sincerely wish to replenish the family.

Sexuality

Also one of the strengths of such marriages. At least in the variant "the woman is older" - this is, as they say, not hitting the top ten, but a hundred. Most psychologists and sexologists have long agreed that the peaks of male and female sexual activity by age do not coincide. The heyday of a man falls on the interval of twenty-seven to thirty-seven years, the heyday of a woman - forty to fifty.

This does not mean that before or after none of them has an interest in sex, it is about mature sexuality in its prime.

After forty, a woman already very well knows what she wants. Not burdened by the maternal function, she can afford to be the most relaxed, sincere and most comfortable in sex. And in this state, a young man is much more suitable for her.

In the variant when the man is older, both will be preoccupied with offspring and raising it for a long time - sex in such a marriage can be calm and comfortable, because neither the woman nor the man are at the peak of their capabilities, but they will pay tribute to love, again, with equal interest. All problems begin only when a long joint path has been passed and one of the partners begins to lose vitality, and the second is still full of it. And here it is necessary to discuss what, in the opinion of many, is the "stumbling block" of such couples.

Aging

It is believed that growing old with a peer is not scary - the same changes occur with both, people face the same type of problems. But this is only at first glance. A man, for example, ages earlier in terms of sexuality. And in my practice there were many pairs of peers in whom a woman suffered from this.

What, in fact, is scary about aging? Diseases and loss of interest in sex, loss of physical attractiveness. A younger partner, willingly or not, will force the other to keep himself in good shape - by the very fact of his existence. Better yet, do it consciously: come up with general health measures, joint sports.

Hugh Jackman and Deborah-Lee Furness, for example, go downhill. Deborah is 13 years older than her husband

Loss of interest in sex is more of a problem for older couples. Yes, it will be extremely difficult for a sixty-year-old man to meet the needs of a forty-year-old woman. However, he who is forewarned is armed. It is worth visiting a specialist in advance and consulting on how a man can maintain sexual function, how to diversify his sexual life.

The problem of loss of physical attractiveness may affect older couples more. Although sometimes it is not so much about the loss of attractiveness as about the feelings of the woman herself in this regard. Men, as a rule, love "with their eyes" only for the first time, then the emphasis is shifted to tactile and olfactory sensations, which they associate with the "sense of the family." And in this context, two extra wrinkles on their beloved face are simply invisible to them.

Marriage with a man who is ten or more years older is -
To vote

In conclusion, I want to say one thing: in couples with a large age difference, there is a rare balance of power within the family. Partners give each other different information - after all, they are people from different generations, different opportunities, different points of view; they keep each other "in good shape", compensating for each other's shortcomings and shortcomings: if one is weak in something, the other is strong in this, and vice versa. And if all this is superimposed on mutual feelings, then such unions are sometimes more harmonious than pairs of peers. And one more thing: couples of different ages, as a rule, are made up of very courageous people, because in our society it is still "not accepted" to conclude such marriages. And if people know how to love in spite of everything - they already have something to respect.